Life is hard, so try not to explode.
The last blog i wrote, whoo boy did that pent up anger screw with my mind. Yeah, i basically blocked anger and let myself live my life without thinking it and that's what you get out of me if i pent it all up.
The real question is: did i really actually mean all of that? The non-emotional or i should say, rational me would answer "of course not", that's not who i am.
Moving on: well, i think some people are still checking this blog, i'm sorry to inform you, i won't be much here anymore, considering many have already noticed=P. Maybe i will still be using this blog, maybe i won't. I have a new one (not blogspot). The new one's better.
As for my life, loads of flu because of the weather changes Brunei has been having, it's driving everyone's immune systems' mad! I've been sick at least once every two freaking weak because we don't adapt well to humid weather and of course TOO dry and hot weather. I couldn't believe how SCORCHING the weather was when i walked under the sun. No one could stand even THIRTY SECONDS under the sun, it was too painfully hot.
College? Everything is going like awesome. I aced the previous subject and doing very remarkably WELL for accounting. I guess it is true: it depends to which lecturer is best suited to teach. Even though they do have a degree or higher, doesn't mean they are suited best to teach.
*sigh*, another thought about teaching. I am capable or should i say, i have the ability to teach, having patience and observation at hand. But i just don't want to because it's not my passion. So with that, i didn't join the rest of my old friends who decided to be teachers and guidance to the younger generation. The pay sucks, they said but they enjoy their jobs nevertheless.
Ugh, i better rest more. I'm getting better and i need to, i can't afford to miss a class, considering every lesson introduces a new topic (thank god i can catch up well, two years of experience in finance and numeracy).
Well, hope i update more=]. If any of you want to reach me, there's this thing call "email" and "IMs"=P... or better yet, facebookxP.
♥ My L 爱 V E For You Stops @ Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Life is hard, so try not to explode.
Definitely i haven't upload or update any posts here but i have updated a lot though... just not here. I'm not completely abandoning this blog. I'll update when i see fit on what topics that matches with my blog here. I'm just... trying to be out of the usual public eyes (friends) right now.
Sorry if i told y'all to not put up comments in my Cbox, it's because i won't have time reading it, let alone visit my blog, so therefore i'd like to avoid confrontations why i haven't responded to you^_^
Before i end this, i'd like to update i'm very happy right now, i do have obstacles to go through but that's what life is by dealing with it, emotion and all and not just shrugged it off and letting go like a tight ass robot would do who thinks one is not a part of this "race" which is call human beings. I should consider that person psychotic having comfort of live in a fantasy world accepting it as reality or letting oneself to be in than dealing with reality when i readtThe crap that spews out of that person's mind spurting in one's blog or through description... whoo boy, what a paranoid imagination, especially when i read how SERIOUS that person wrote and then split oneself into a personality for that person's friends to accept that person... pathetic.
The reason why i just wasted my 2 minutes typing that crap above this paragraph is because i'm clearly saying i am GLAD i dumped that person. After three days i sent that note i'd rather let her go, i checked my inbox, seeing an email i never knew was sitting in my inbox, probably was there before i sent her that note.
I read "i think we should be apart", proved that much how i was right my ex-friend never did changed except her/his image, that is the only solution that person could only think of that's appropriate because that person couldn't handle a simple solution of being a FRIEND but that person's robotic thoughts of whats good. Some "friend"... and the fact i wasted three years of my life with that person, so not worth it.
I was blind. Now i'm not.
I haven't thought about that person even once after three days i sent that note until now. That is how EASY it is for me to let go and how much useless that person was in my life. Now i'm going to continue back to my life=].
Peace=].
♥ My L 爱 V E For You Stops @ Sunday, January 31, 2010
Life is hard, so try not to explode.
5 Things To Consider Before Saying "I Love You"
by , on Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:04pm PST
You all know my favorite dialogue from Empire Strikes Back as the bad guys are about to freeze Han Solo, and Princess Leia says: "I love you." He says: "I know." Maybe I'm over-analytical, but there are many things to think about before you say "I love you," or hear your significant other say it to you for the first time. It has the power to move a relationship to another level, but it could also stall or break a relationship.
Here are five things to consider when it comes to saying "I Love You":
1. Who Goes First?
Princess Leia's downfall in the above quote is letting her emotions take over and saying it first. My biggest fear about saying "I Love You" is not having her say it back. It's sad, but even though you love someone, you might hold back from saying it first because you don't know if they'll say it back.
2. Do You Really Mean It?
Whether it's concious or unconsious, saying "I Love You" might be a manipulation tactic. It can be used for power, to smooth over mistakes, and keep someone around. So, you do have to wonder if they mean it when they say it...or if you mean it when you say it. And when you break up someone can always throw: "you said you loved me" back in your face.
I've told one girl I loved her, but I didn't mean it. I thought I meant it. "I Love You" can be manipulative, even if the perpetrator is not aware they are using it to manipulate. I did not feel right having sex with my first girlfriend (we were both virgins) unless we were "in love". That's a noble stand to take, but it led to unsavory behavior. Eventually, my desire to lose my virginity dictated my words. I told my girlfirend I loved her as a means to an end. I knew I had to say it so we could have sex. And several months later we had sex, and I never loved her-- hopefully at least I thought I loved her at the time. Was that gift I gave myself worth it?
3. Spontaneous Or Planned?
The best way to say "I Love You," is to let it grow inside you and spontaneously jump out. It should take you by storm, and it should create a memorable moment. But all too often, the weight of saying it for the first time forces you to think about it. You might end up planning when/how you'll say it. And if you end up planning it, you kick yourself because you originally planned for it to be spontaneous. Boy, that's confusing! In the quest for it to be "right" and memorable, the first "I love you" is drained of spontaneity.
4. Is It The Right Time?
Sometimes it's best not to rock the boat. If you drop "I Love You" on your significant other while they are enjoying the pace of the relationship, it might be overwhelming. Some people like a casual relationship, or they like it to "feel" casual, and "I Love You" might be too much if it's said too soon. There's no going back once you use the "L" word.
(Me: This is a choice that i would choose out of all of these choices)
5. Is It Better To Show It Than Say It? In English class, my teacher taught us: show me, don't tell me. In other words, actions speak louder than words. To me, it's more inspiring when a friends/relatives shows they love me, by standing up for me, supporting me, etc.
I annoy my buddies when I do stupid things like run out of gas (I tend to do that more than the average person), but they are always there for me when I call them and need a ride. Just knowing someone is there for you, and cares about you is stronger than any three word phrase. I'm not saying you should avoid saying "I Love You," but it's stronger and more challenging to show it through your actions. Han Solo's line is actually reveals that he's well aware of Leia's love for him through her actions.
What are your thoughts on saying "I Love You" for the first time? Do you agree with my thoughts above? Do you shy away from saying it for the first time? What effects has the phrase had on your relationship after it's been said? Have you ever been manipulated or used it to manipulate someone in a relationship?
♥ My L 爱 V E For You Stops @ Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Life is hard, so try not to explode.
Ford Supermodel of the world Malaysia 2009
What? It took two decades to finally have a supermodel in Malaysia after the two decades of interracial people to exist to create “beautiful people” and don’t give me that crap where the dominant religion is Islamic religion… they have stripper clubs and alcohol, don’t give me crap about religion morals. I’m not saying that in a really mean way about waiting two decades for interracial babies but I don’t see many malays (men) in their line of choices of supermodels.
Isn’t the freaking point of the show is to nurture and create supermodels out of normal people or experienced models? I saw perfectly good looking malay men and they rejected them because of asinine reasons such as ONE:- they “didn’t have the right look” if you get what I mean because its sugarcoated, TWO:- they’re not tall enough and THREE:- they didn’t have abs or physically attractive even though you’re skinny.
Just like Brunei, if I was skinny enough, they’d choose me to be a model (which they already did three years ago starting December) because I have an English, Chinese and etc ancestry/descent or their preferred term, “mix” and how well I am sounding like, in their view and description, an American due to the good pronunciation of words and how well I am with words. Just look at Mtv Asia’s choices of their representer/DJ.
All of this was because they want the show to go on in haste if they chose people who are already the PERFECT model material. I wasn’t surprise for the women, they got it nevertheless of their looks unless they have the bodies for it but I was a bit disappointed that the fact that America has already went through all of those problems that came to the media that shot “everything that is wrong with choices on picking how a supermodel should look like” and having to see Malaysia go through the same thing and not learn from that lesson when one of the judges “advised” the twin models, “Maybe you should go on a diet or something to lose weight because you’re too chubby on the runway”, to a perfectly proportionate skinny women or to their definition of “short” people, “you’re too short (5’3), you’re unacceptable” as though heels height of five to seven inches tall weren’t yet created nor should heels be the solution.
YES, I am well aware that in the runway, they have only ONE size “available” for the models but it could change if they didn’t have this kind of narrow-mindedness and unfairness and accept the fact the size ZERO shouldn’t be “attractive”. Banks already made that difference when by not seeing it as a risk to accept plus size and short women as her contestants in her Top Model Competition but as an opportunity to change the views of asinine people with their definition of what’s “perfect”.
“I don’t hate the players, I ‘m just hating the game”.
Anyways, all in all of my say/opinion of the “first” supermodel in Malaysia are that it’s not unique and its no different than any of the competition involving choosing THE top supermodel except for Tyra Bank’s. Yes, I am again aware of the controversial shots of pictures made by the choices of Bank’s decision on models exchanging/transformation in different skins. Opposed or not opposed by it, this is what I have to say: Doesn’t that message of her decision (even though it might not be Bank’s) that not only people can pull off how beautiful they are in stepping in different culture/racial shoes and that it proves people are ONE, and the fact only our looks, culture and dividedness are the things that separate us as being ONE. No, people can't see past that because they still believe everyone is so different that the culture and the skin of our color separates us so.
♥ My L 爱 V E For You Stops @ Saturday, December 12, 2009
Life is hard, so try not to explode.
Comments i find interesting.
ORGANICDAMAGE(9 hours ago) Show Hide0
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ummm...this video SUCKS even for Brit! For a top artist with a substantial video budget she really knows how NOT to deliver an iconic video like no other pop star. I just don't think she is compelling...i have been waiting for her to blow me away since 1999 and it certainly hasn't happened with this forgettable video. I'd expect this type of poor quality from say...brooke hogan :)
RebNJess (9 hours ago) Show Hide
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She is definitely not a skank...Sex Sells..no matter what way you look at it, this is how everyone is brainwashed. So why not make the most of it? I think she looks smokin hot!
GinzerN (2 hours ago) Show Hide
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I have this big questions. WHY is it Britney Haters are even wasting there time visiting, watching, listening and commenting to the music and videos of Britney? If U don't like her then leave her alone, She cant pleased everybody..
sunraychannel (2 hours ago) Show Hide
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She doesn't even know that we exist hahah so what's your point? Everyone can come here and say their opinions lol Don't like it, your problem, make me stop, you can't? Then shut up, I will say what i want. Nice try.
utubepolis (2 hours ago) Show Hide
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She still looks lost. I guess her voice is gone as she has a computer voice :(
Niaxia (2 hours ago) Show Hide
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She always was, you ever heard her live?
ninagirlxx (5 hours ago) Show Hide
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brit's burnt out. dunno if she's truly back or are just doing what her ppl tell her to do.. she still puts out good music and is still pretty of course but she is nowhere near her old self. her dancing if u can call it that is sloppy, shes put on weight she cant seem to get rid off.. (or muscles- w/c ever- she still looks heavy) she doesnt sing live at her concerts anymore.. theres no spark in her eyes..
salamasoud (5 hours ago) Show Hide
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i agree with what you said
krhnice18 (5 hours ago) Show Hide
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I dont understand why people watch this and then hate on Britney, if you dont like her then why do you watch her?
sunraychannel (5 hours ago) Show Hide
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Dont't throw that ''I do not understand card'', ppl come her watch her vid and have their own opinion and that's about it, if you don't have yours - than maybe don't comment?
Nakedpetals (6 hours ago) Show Hide
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Shes so trying to be sexy when she's not. Her dance moves are so stiff! She needs to relax and be more natural... and not to try so hard....
pabriny (1 hour ago) Show Hide
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She doesn't know how to dance anymore, I guess she's decided to just stick to the sex moves and insinuations. She could never sing but I guess nowadays people just have to moan and that's called singing too. =/
yourohsocharmin (1 hour ago) Show Hide
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hater!! hahaha
its funny how your being a critic for britney and this video, and i bet you cant do a damn thing with your life.
Meoaxa (10 minutes ago) Show Hide
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Hey man, everyone's got opinions, even you because EVERYONE has different point of views, he's not hating but giving his opinion. It's easy to retaliate but why can't anyone just respect each other's opinion as long as its not childish and stupid just for the sake of "hating"... like you're doing right now, sadly to say.
♥ My L 爱 V E For You Stops @ Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Life is hard, so try not to explode.
I almost forgotten about this. This has affected many of people who surrounded me since growing up to the point it affected my cousin, face and body figure to the point it would have been "worth" it to risk starvation and so on for the acceptance of beauty in a "community".
Unfortunately, it affected me too, i starved and exercise myself into sickness for a whole year to get the body i want until i learn from there, i let go: as you can see my body right now. It took me two years for me to heal, mentally and physically in the process of... beauty.
♥ My L 爱 V E For You Stops @ Sunday, November 01, 2009
Life is hard, so try not to explode.
Polygamy
Actually I was very appalled Brunei does not pardon or exempt polygamy and because of their religion… ugh, sadly and unfortunately, “my” religion too. I don’t practice it actually except in the effort to please the family that was taken away from me. I had trouble believing in Islam when I finally started to open my eyes and questioning everything, the limit limitless and of course through the 21 years of example of my “mother” side of the family has put up. They slave themselves praying kneeling down to god and going through all the rules in Islam and yet were damned and rewarded with behaviors of arrogant, stupidity, vile sense of what’s right and wrong, violence, illogic, egocentric, racist, heinous superiority, childish needs and wants, corruption and everything that is wrong with the world compile into one family BEHIND CLOSE DOORS.
No family is perfect but damn, they’re so ill-fated, I vomit “demons” within and under their care when I was underage and not only that, had the nerve to manipulate me to get what they want through what “god” want us to do during our childhood such as “respect the elders even though they mistreat and abuse you verbally and physically”. They never took care of me mentally and never guided me towards a good path in my future, career wise and in life. And that family loosely based everything that is “good” and “holy” through their religion.
Now can you see why I have trouble in believing in Islam BUT I am also slowly step by step trying to believe accept Islam religion again when I came across an aunt I never met before until two years ago, I won’t bore you into details.
When I look at Islam and (I pulled this out of Wikipedia when I try to further understand polygamy and not place judgment first) the Quran states fairly that whoever choose the path of polygamy (for men only, women are not allowed) must deal with their wives as fairly as possible, doing everything that can to spend equal amounts of time and money on each one of them and if the husband cannot handle this, he must stick to only one wife. I respect that, I do but do you think everyone who practices Islam, ESPECIALLY in Brunei will heed this? Hah, ESPECIALLY Brunei, some of the people there hiding behind religion and rationalize themselves as holy people when they let their children running amuck adopting western lifestyles (such as excess booze, seduction and sex).
It’s never the matter of money because they already have it, therefore the first thing that will come out from their mouths are “we can afford wives” as though exchanging money for whatever they are interested in that woman they want to make them into their wives. Hm, now why and WHERE does THAT sound familiar to me? So there are no hookers and strippers in Brunei, so they resort to… *drum roll* polygamy.
Oh, my dear readers, I do not accuse when I have proof on my hands only through their actions and through what I see, take my word for it.
If they (some Bruneian men) didn’t spurt out words and actions that are below, I wouldn’t disagree so much:-
“I can afford wives, big deal”
Marry a woman twice or triple younger than them.
“I got tired of the other one, maybe a fresh new piece of ass into my life will be oh-so-joy and hmmm, something that doesn’t make it adultery” (Okay, I may changed the words and they may not say it in those words but nevertheless, the implication and the notion of it are still identical).
To show wealth and power through marriages.
“Hah, who wouldn’t want two sexy wives who can take care of our children while I’m always away.
What I cannot forgive nor calm my rage when they try to carry out polygamy with no intention of being fair to their wives but just have someone different to have sex with and other intentions and then try to retaliate on bringing the Sultan’s actions of marrying two women when questioned of their ill-intentions and say “Quran says we can” of practicing polygamy… that really sickens me to the bone.
DO NOT… EVER TRY TO JUSTIFY YOUR ACTIONS OF STUPIDITY AND GREEDINESS BY USING A HOLY RELIGION AS AN EXCUSE AND HIDE BEHIND RELIGION JUST TO SATISFY YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS WHEN YOU DON’T FULLY UNDERSTAND OR IGNORE WHAT THE QURAN SAYS OF A HUSBAND’S FULL RESPONSIBILITIES ON HAVING MULTIPLE WIVES, THEN SAY “Oh it’s enough I give them this amount of money and other shit, what other else do you want from me!?”.
As much as I barely practice Islam, I still respect it to death and I will defend it as though it is my own. Reasons, you ask, of why I respect it. Why don’t you try to crack a book on this religion once in a while or the easiest way see a documentary and find out yourself why instead of doing the easy way of judging this religion through actions of psychopaths trying to pass themselves as Muslims by calling themselves Muslims. I’m not going to start yapping my trap and have my eyes full of glint giving my full time to explain what makes this religion so right and beautiful like I’m trying to convince anyone they should believe in which many tried to force me to do when I was a kid.
One more thing I like to add before leaving, basically there are different cultures practicing the same religion but from my observation it is more likely these days their CULTURES dominant and influence on religion, not religion influences the culture. Like it or not, that’s my opinion. IF you get what i mean.
The ~freaking~ end.
♥ My L 爱 V E For You Stops @ Saturday, October 31, 2009
Kissing the same gender
Getting a driver's license!<33
